My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes, I think you've seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
I think it's because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it's because I'm crazy
I try not to act too proud
They only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
Yes I think I'm okay
I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that's what I'll say
And it's not your business anyway
I guess I'd like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
-MY REFLECTIVE PIECE-
It has been twenty years since i stepped out of this small town, a town which had destroyed my childhood. Standing beside me now is my wife and my seven years old son. I wouldn't want to step into this town anymore if it is not that somebody informed me to get back my father's things in the building. All the scene flashed inside my mind in a sudden. There's too much feelings of me towards this little quiet town.
I went back to the old building, make my steps carefully to the second floor, where i used to live in for 12 years. The messy room makes me recall of my alcoholic father, and my mom who left us when i was 4. Till now i would have wonder how can i survive in this terrible condition. Beer cans can be found in every corner of the room. There will be noise and fight every night, it did not stopped ever since my mom left us. I was alone, no one cares for me, no one even know that i had been hungry for days, what can i do as a kid? Crying without tears , waiting for nightmares which will be repeating every night. This makes me appreciate what i have today, my wife, my son and also my brand new life. I try to give my son the best environment because i do not want the same thing happening to him.
Sitting along the bedside , i suddenly realize that the scars all over my body are still there. The most obvious one,with the length 6 inches on my arm reminds me about how am i abused by my father. Torturing me has been his daily job, no matter beating me violently with anything that he could grab, or even burning me with the iron. Especially in the midnight, he came home drunk, shaking my shoulders and yell at me " Where is you mom?!!!!" I could not answer as i do want to know the answer. As i failed to answer his question, horror starts to engulf me, the pain that i suffer, the emotional pressure that i experienced at that time has been enough to kill me. Till now, i would not forget the night he hurt me using the iron, i could not forget the night which had been haunted me for years. It is not just a scar on the surface but in my heart. I swear to god that i would not do the same thing to my child.
I left the building one hour later, as i reach the ground floor, a picture of a sweet little girl appears when i heard giggles of children playing in the park. She live downstairs , her name is May. I remember that i'll always wanted to be alone, without any friends. She was the first one who talked to me in a proper manner as all the kids treated me as if i'm an alien. But at the moment, i rejected her kindness and told her its non of her business. Lonely life makes me found socializing difficult. Luckily, i am able to improve it in my university life.
When i pull my mind back to the reality, the sun sets. Meeting my wife and son at the train station, again, i leave this town. I knew that i could not forgive my father, just let this small town and my unhappy childhood will be forever burry deep in my memories.
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